Extra Credit #2: Novelist Reyna Grande

"Where do I belong? Do I belong here, do I belong there, do I belong anywhere??" 

On October 16, I attended a book talk with novelist Reyna Grande to discuss her new book The Distance Between Us. I attended without much knowledge about the actual novel, however after hearing some of the experiences behind her memoir I became quite interested. She began by discussing her experience living with her grandmother after her mother and father immigrated into the U.S. looking for work. She went into detail discussing her youth and asking herself every night whether her parents had already forgotten her and started a new family in the US. However, at one point Reyna joined her family in the US and lived with her father and her step mother. During this point she recalled her father beating her step mother to the point that he sent her to the hospital. Reyna decided that she could not live with them anymore and moved in with her English teacher from PCC. This is how she came to write novels, she said that in writing she was able to relive these experiences without fully immersing herself in the sorrow that she once experienced. 

JE #5

"I walked a long way, and many things happened that I do not remember. I went through villages where people gave me food and told me the way to Tucson. I saw places where people did not live anymore, the fruit trees gone wild, the houses empty. I learned to walk a long way without water to drink. I learned to eat whatever there was to eat" (Alcalá, 42). I found this excerpt to be parallel and contingent to the ongoing experiences of migrants traveling south-north searching for the possibility of a ("better") future. Shark Tooth and her people were forced to migrate due to geopolitical and economic strife, just as "the other North Americans" (Mexicans), Central and South Americans are pressed to re-locate in search for (the opportunity of) an opportunity, or perish. And the excerpt continues, "[w]hen men came on horses, I flattened myself against the ground and hid until the strangers were gone, pressing myself hard into the sharp rocks and thorns so as to seem part of them. After a while, I felt that I really was part of them--no longer human or part of a village, but just another part of the desert. I did not think, I did not feel. I just walked" (42). Each new body found on the border, ceases to be human or part of a village, and instead becomes part of the deadly and barren Arizona desert's mass grave.  And unlike our protagonist, the unidentified bodies documented in Mark Silver's short documentary, perish before they can even dream of having a mirage or a shade to safeguard them from the unbearable and overwhelming solar heat. 
Now, let's play with the description of the short film which reads, "forensics experts in Arizona struggle to identify the bodies of migrants who perished while attempting to cross illicitly from Mexico into the United States." When I read this passage I immediately thought of Shelly, as a forensics expert (after the thorough archival research she had conducted on the now "extinct" Opata), and yet struggling to identify the bodies (including hers) of (Opata) migrants who (culturally and historically) perished while attempting to cross (")illicitly(") from Mexico into the United States. I see how we are able to fit in both stories, as they travel along in time, with the ongoing human rights crisis at the US-Mexico border. It was almost eerie the way that a single descriptor fits three (Concha, Rosa and Shelly's) narratives. What is most eerie and frightening, is that this is becoming more and more of a reality that calls upon no longer the sole attention of concerned Latin Americans and/or United States' peoples. But as neoliberalism advances, political and social inequality reign, more and more parallels will continue to be drawn between the U.S-Mexico border and say, "capsized boats in the Mediterranean Sea filled with migrants from Africa and the Middle East, and in the seas of north Australia. (Silver)"   

JE # 4

Through this week’s readings, I began understanding the way in which various ethnic groups have faced discrimination and oppression in border towns, I’ve come to understand the way in which the dehumanization of the immigrant communities have taken place. In David’s Romo book, he writes the historical narratives of the struggling communities that reside north of the U.S/Mexico border and highlights the struggles of these communities due to their perceived race. A common misconception about immigration and borders is that the only communities that cross the border illegally are those of Mexican descent, however, it is clear that in the 19^th century folks from China used the U.S/Mexico border as a means of making it to the United States, while nonetheless, facing their own forms of oppression, hence the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882.

They say that pictures speak a thousand words, within the book; there are a few pictures that bring up a lot of emotions due to the experiences of those who came before me. On page 196, we see a picture with a caption that states, “Anglos and their Mexican prisoners after the Boquillas, Texas raid along the border, CA.” This picture is really powerful because it illustrates the clear abuse that was executed upon people of color in the border, specifically Mexicanos. We see about nine Anglos with guns pointing at three Mexicanos, as if they were perceived danger, as if they deserved death. This picture illustrates the perceived ‘superiority’ of these anglos and the ‘inferiority of Mexicans by the border. This picture is incredibly disturbing, to see our gente at the feet of people of privilege, simply because they feel they deserve, simply because they have the tools to oppress. A part of me can see the pain embedded in the indigenous souls that are in the picture and it’s disturbing to know that this sort of treatment continues, all due to a lack of documentation.

Another picture that was also very interesting is located on page 204, which states “Social fraternization and friendship between Blacks and Mexicans was not uncommon in Ciudad Juarez during the turn of the century.” This was a powerful picture because it demonstrated the cross community collaboration among Mexicans and Black folks and therefore showing the unity created within struggling communities. I chose this picture because it is shows the possibility of cross-community collaboration, a space in which people of color can join forces to create community and combat the oppressive forms that put them against one another, the same forces that privileges white folks and their perceived superiority. 

Extra Credit #1: Karen Anzoategui's "Catholic School Daze"

It wasn’t my first time seeing Karen Anzoategui’s “Catholic School Daze,” I had had the privilege of seeing it earlier this year but, with my higher level of consciousness, I was able to see the pain, struggles, and borders that Anzoategui endures and overcomes throughout the play. Being an autobiographical piece, it began with Karen, a self-righteous, hardcore Jesus/Catholic fanatic whose mission in life is to help others, and complete the two hundred plus hours of community service. Karen’s worked so hard in life: she’s an at-best mediocre student, does what her mother asks her to do, and prays to Jesus, what more can Karen ask for? Eventually, a rumor begins at Karen’s school, a Catholic school, where, supposedly, she was seen kissing Amanda Rodriguez. To Karen’s dismay, she is appalled and shocked that this rumor manifested, even more surprised because she doesn’t even know an Amanda. Karen gets expelled from Catholic school for her immoral and sinful ways and is eventually sent to another school where she meets a new female friend. After spending time with each other, Karen receives a call from her new female friend who tells Karen

that she lost her virginity to her boyfriend. Karen, dazed and confused, enters a spiraling descent from innocence and begins to cut herself to feel pain. The scars on her arm and chest reflect the pain, struggles, and borders in her life, her religion, and now, on her body.

Anzoategui’s performance demonstrates how conflicts in our lives create borders, leaving us halfway stuck on a fence, not knowing which side we should fall on. Being a devout Catholic, Karen now struggles with her newly discovered sexual orientation, which stemmed from her body like the blood from her skin. Karen’s able to understand how the two conflict one another, that by being a lesbian is sinful and very much against being a “good” Catholic. Afterwards, Anzoategui begins, casually, to discuss her life where “Catholic School Daze” leaves off. She discusses her conflict and how she decided to leave the church behind so that she can remove the stress and pressure in which she carried. She was able to “ pick” a side of the fence she hung on to, the side that didn’t fill her mind with being “immoral” or “sinful”—a side that she would be able to be herself, freely. By removing herself from the Catholic Church, she was able to shed the pain she felt, and even the physical scars she inflicted onto herself. I admire the way that Anzoategui is able to openly discuss her horrors and trauma in a way that is light yet heartfelt. She definitely knows what it’s like to have borders in her life and, gratefully, she made the journey over and she is in a much better place.

Here’s a picture of myself, along with Aces and Diana, with Karen Anzoategui.

JE #5

The article and Marc Silver’s documentary illustrate a horrific but true experience that is taking place on the border. Thousands of men, women and children are going missing and/or being murdered. These deaths are overlooked because their lack of citizenship makes their lives considered disposable. Their “illegal” action of trying to cross the border excuses what happens to them while they try to come over because they deserve it. What I think about most is the families missing their loved ones. Only 66% of bodies found are identified.  The other 34% will always wonder about their loved one. The video also discusses with the border becoming more militarized, more deaths will take place and separate more families.  We need immigration reform to stop these deaths, not militarization.

In Kathleen Alcalá’s Flower in the Skull, Concha migrates from Mexico to Tucson on foot, like many people migrating to the U.S. Their stories are greatly paralleled. Concha, and many immigrants, experience separation of families and only strive for a better life on the other side of the border. The Opata experience just as Mexicans migrating do; they are violently discriminated against by their oppressors. The Opata travel towards the Tecolote for a better life, just as Mexican immigrants travel to America. During their travels, the Opata endure violence and death, which is a reality for Mexicans migrating. Even if/when they arrive at Tecolote/America, these communities still experience violence and discrimination. Immigration communities have and unfortunately will always be discriminated against by their oppressors, on either side of the border, but especially while crossing it.

JE #5

Marc Silver’s short documentary and article “Bodies on the Borders” brings light to a very serious subject that is often overlooked on both sides of the border. As the video enumerates, remains of 2,200 migrants have been recovered in Arizona near the U.S-Mexico Border, leaving families broken and either never finding their loved ones, or finding their decomposing bodies in the desert. The video strategically opens with a panoramic view of Tucson, Arizona highways and a voice over of our president Barack Obama stating the U.S will initiate “the toughest Border enforcement plan America has ever seen.” Close reading the cinematography of the short documentary, I find this voice over element as an accurate parallel to the way governmental administration inconsiderately implements policy that continually militarizes our border, forcing thousands of migrants to die annually. The people that make these life changing decisions do not experience the hardships immigrants face on a daily basis, but they will readily make a decision for the “betterment” of our nation, despite administrators’, especially our President’s absence in areas they mostly affect. Pima County in Arizona has been able to recover 66% of missing persons in the surrounding area, no thanks to Obama who continually militarizes that particular sector of the border. In comparison to Kathleen Alcala’s Flower in the Skull, we see the forced separation of communities and families especially within Concha’s story. Concha, probably like many migrant children today, abruptly realizes that her mother died. Also, much like the U.S government that constantly presses for a more violent “maintenance” of the border, the Mexicans within the novel, continually kill and hold the Opata captive because they are not the same people apparently (despite strong indigenous ancestry in Mexicans). In a sense, the Opata are violently displaced just like Mexicans in real life. More importantly, this article in discussion of the relevant Flower in the Skull, makes me question what we on this side of the border can do to help those dying for a “better” chance at life. Both texts exemplify how prevalent the dominant culture’s decisions affect the lives of the second-class and how those with higher privilege can abuse their power and perpetuate a strict social hierarchy. 

J.E. #5

What is happening on the Arizona border is the prime example of the neglect foreigners, "foreigners," face when coming to inhabit a new geographical place. It's interesting to see how these people who enter the country "illicitly" try so hard to gain access to the land that was once theirs and how the people who currently live in that land exclude them in such a cruel and reckless way. Not only are these people displaced from their native land, they are looked down upon when they try to reintegrate themselves to a society that has taken over what was once theirs. 

While there are a lot of similarities in regards to how these "illicit" immigrants are treated in the place they migrate to, the overarching differences lie in the legislation of contemporary times. There were no laws in Concha's time period that prohibited her from re-entering her home land; that knowledge was innate. The article on the Arizona border states that, "around the globe, it’s clear that economic disparity, political instability and harsh immigration policies are a combustible mix — one that plays out tragically along national borders." Whereas in the book, Alcalá says the Opata were "no longer owners of their own rancherias, since they had no papers to prove such things, but as hired hands on the same land" (5). Even though there are differences in these peoples' oppression, ultimately what connects the two texts is the exaltation of oppressive systems perpetuated by those belonging to the dominant society. 

Extra Credit #1: "What We Talk About, When We Talk About Queer” Symposium

Karen Anzoategui 

On October 18, UCLA's LGBT Studies Program hosted the symposium "What We Talk About, When We Talk About Queer.” Although I was unable to attend the panels, I made sure not to miss Karen Anzoategui's solo performance. In academia, we learn about Latin American civil rights movements, gender politics, queer politics, however, it is a very different exchange of knowledge when learning this through the body performance of an artist. When Karen first began her performance, the entire crowd was at ease. Slowly we all entered a roller coaster of emotions, captivated with the different characters that Karen was introducing from her memory and lived reality. Her arrival into Argentina, her first experience with politics and protests, her love for soccer, and her love for women. Also, I loved that she broke the microphone half way through her performance. The many barriers present in Karen's live slowly revealed themselves as she maneuvered the stage. 1) A broken home under an alcoholic father; 2) loving women is a woman's body; 3) transcending the border between the first world (US) and the third world (Argentina); 4) Leaving peace for mayhem. 

Everybody, please go see Ser! November 16!!

J#3B

"War on the Border" was a really interesting piece because it showed a variety of points that really struck a cork in me. As a child in a Migrant family I was always no stranger to moving between Mexicali and Calexico season after season. Having lived on the border until the end of elementary school I was no stranger to the imagery Miller described. I have very vivid memories of the border patrol cars roaming around Calexico near the border, the men with guns at each entrance, the long lines of people trying to get into the U.S. I remember helicopters, vans, and (what I then considered) army tanks all along the US/Mexico border. It seems funny to me that while the U.S. is militarizing their side of the border, in my younger years I do not have any recollection of Mexico doing the same. There were hardly any police cars, a handful of armed soldiers at the Mexico entrance, or any remotely similar to what the U.S. had. So Profe's question is super legit "Who's Declaring War on the Border?"  Even though a huge chunk of people in this country claim that we live in a post-racial society (WRONG!), the changes on the border show how untrue that is. The U.S. is preparing for war with Mexican Immigrants, not Mexico, just their immigrants. But why Mexican immigrants? What did our families do? Why are we so dangerous? What kind of threat do we pose to homeland security? Why Mexico and not Canada? So many questions, and yet, no solid truthful answers from those who are making these absurd changes to the border.

JE#3

Cultural Schizophrenia means battling with yourself on a daily basis. From the way I walk, to the way I talk, the way I write, the way I dress, everything I do is heavily influenced by my surroundings. I personally enjoy admiration and acceptance from others, so I subconsciously change my way of being for the people I am with. I understand schizophrenia as a mental condition that makes it hard for a person to distinguish fantasy from reality, and a constant internal fight with voices no one else can hear. Multiple personalities are also a key component of this mental condition. Therefore, cultural schizophrenia for me translates into my inability to gauge where I belong in society, as well as adopting several personalities for societal acceptance. When drawing out my identity wheel I realized I have several personalities that disconnect and in turn cause a daily identity crisis for me. For instance, my Mexican heritage implies that I speak Spanish fluently, but my dominant tongue is English because my parents knew that in order to be successful in this country I had to speak English fluently. Although I can read, write, and completely understand Spanish, my comfort level in speaking it publicly is very low. Since I grew up rewarded to speak English without a Spanish accent and did not practice my Spanish because my father wanted to practice his English, my Spanish speaking family from Mexico ridiculed me and often thought of me as “creido.” Yet my brownness in the classroom was always prevalent. I was the “good, for a Mexican” student and constantly had to prove myself worthy to my privileged Asian and White counterparts. So fitting in with my peers was a struggle because I was either too brown or not brown enough. My anxiety stemmed from the myth that I had to choose a side. Up until recent chapters of my life, I often sided with the dominant culture because it seemed the most rewarding and promising. Shockingly, my choices in dress, language, even social activities were positively reinforced by my parents because I was “off to bigger and better things” in comparison to other Mexican children. Essentially, my parents were also colonized to believe that my preferences (caused by internalized racism) were precursor signs to a successful child who is successfully navigating the system, and that I did. I got into UCLA, but my education here is not what I nor what my family expected. Here I continually realize there is a huge disconnect between the way I view myself, and the way others view me. Since I learned to “coexist” with privileged individuals throughout my k-12 experience, the tension between radical Chican@s and the “White Person” is uncomfortable for me at times since I can understand both ends of the spectrum. Sometimes my music and dining preferences side more towards privileged white culture, but my ideology resides in critical race theory. This is most often seen through my experiences as a contemporary dancer. Dance is a SUPER privileged activity because of the expensive lifestyle it demands (studio fees, costumes, transportation, certain diets, etc). Dance essentially equalizes me and my dance peers based on technical ability, but my experiences outside the studio differ from the other dancers who have moms drinking lattes waiting for their children to end class. Navigating these spaces that favor opposite ends of the spectrum as someone who lives in the middle of the spectrum, is a very uncomfortable. Language and choice of hobby are only two of the several avenues that inconveniently cross daily, with me having to choose a path for sake of comfort and appearing “found”. In this society, it is not ok to be lost, which is why it makes me anxious to answer “What do you identify as?” 

JE #4

The extreme injustices that occurred as a result of the Chinese Exclusion Act, the Mexican Revolution, and the Bath Riots have definitely contributed to El Paso's identity crisis. The huge divide between Anglos, Mexicans, and other racial groups stemmed from the notion that Anglos were, and still continue to be, the preferred and the purest racial group. Not only was El Paso literally the border between the U.S. and Mexico, but the people living there were dealing with their own personal borders and identity crises. The Mexicans and the Chinese, for example, had to deal with being dehumanized and getting separated from their families. In his book, David Romo speaks in detail about the Bath Riots and provides several images that contain a high shock value. It is one thing to read about these types of tragedies but putting a picture to it is a whole different story. The first picture that I noticed was one that showed the steam dryer that sterilized the clothing of the immigrants (pg. 224). The image is set in some sort of warehouse-looking place and there are big machines and racks of tons of clothing. This is disturbing because it shows the Anglo perspective on what they think of these 'dirty' Mexicans. Not only do the Anglos feel the need to bathe them but also to take their clothes away to get rid of any diseases or bacteria they might have on them. The measures that were taken to clean the immigrants was extreme and I think that this image is a good representation of that.

Another image that took me by surprise was the one of all the Braceros standing in line naked waiting to be inspected by the doctors (pg. 238-239). These men all have what seems to be a piece of paper to cover their pubic area. This image perfectly displays the dehumanization that they went through because they are essentially being treated like animals, especially when they are all standing next to a fully-clothed person. Not only is it humiliating for them, but it is slightly ironic that the Anglo men would think that giving them a small piece of paper to cover themselves would make them feel better or less abused. I feel like a lot of this contributes to cultural schizophrenia because immigrants are essentially brainwashed into thinking that they are not good enough, not pure enough to be part of the American society. 

JE#2

In a sense, many Mexicans, Mexican Americans, and everyone in between have forfeited their destiny through the miseducation of the U.S-Mexico War. The ultimate takeover of Mexican peoples was not the bloodshed or land ordinance policies that annexed Mexico to the United States, but the manipulation of history told in the Anglo perspective. This biased outlook not only implies that the end of the war was a mutual process, but that Anglos did this for the betterment of the country and their God given right. History told from this perspective contributes to the “lost” destiny for the descendants of the Guadalupe and Hidalgo by completely erasing the experiences of Mexicans, Indians, and Afrikan Slaves all together. In a sense, all peoples affected by this peaceful treaty experience a sense of historical amnesia when their side of the story is not told. History taught in American schools has conditioned society to think that Mexico was rightfully annexed to the United States and that White Americans expanded this country with good intentions and pursuit of friendship, despite the blatantly racist policies implemented on the national expansion and the construction of second class citizens by placing Anglo heterosexual males at the top of American social hierarchy. Compared to what I was taught in school, De Leon’s work really accentuates the true sentiments of Anglos towards Mexicans. Several times my teachers would mention the other side of the war and briefly touch upon the painful experiences of Mexicans, but we were always left with the Anglo viewpoint of friendly expansion and made to believe that our world now was set in a post-racial society since my classroom’s ethnic make-up was usually diverse. After having this kind of history lesson repeated to me throughout my k-12 educational experience, I was left to believe that Mexicans possibly are inferior because they let Anglos conquer them and were not prepared to defend themselves. I was forced to think that Mexicans and people of color in general truly are inferior/ second class and that the right way of living was by the standards of White America. A prevalent example of how mainstream U.S culture and education perpetuates cultural amnesia is through the public educational system itself. The U.S government likes to front education as the ultimate equalizer of the country’s citizens and residents through supposed equal access to quality education and standardized tests to gauge student merit. Unfortunately, performing well on tests (especially for History) the experiences of the conquered do not matter because our capacity of learning is measured on our comprehension of the Anglo perspective. Although I feel like I am much more conscious of my history than before, I still feel like there is so much for me to learn. As of right now I feel like I am at the stage where I've realized that I cannot be completely decolonized, especially if I plan to be successful in academia. Institutionalized racism is alive and well in too many spaces where individuals in society are expected to progress (workplace, school, community, etc.). On a scale from 1-10 (10 being the highest) I would say that I’m halfway amnesiac, considering I learn something about my past or my identities every day. I admit that I was very colonized in high school (who wasn't ) but I always knew there was another side to the story my teachers constantly professed, which is why transitioning into a conscious state of mind starting from my entrance into UCLA, was a healthy process of growth. I am appreciative of authors like Arnoldo De Leon for enumerating the experiences of Mexicans and the unjust decisions made on behalf of them by greedy, inconsiderate Anglo Americans. History repeats itself, and unfortunately cultures other than the dominant culture of the U.S suffer the consequences of living in a country that was not made for them to be successful. 

JE#4El Paso Cultural Schizophrenia

The Chinese Exclusion Act, the Mexican Revolution, and the Bath Riots all contributed to the disconnect between Anglo ‘Americans’ and ‘other’ ‘American’ minorities by increasing the volume of stereotypes/racial profiling and pitted the ‘other’ against each other. Controlling sexuality at the border and the Chinese Exclusion Act targeted against the Chinese immigrants and Chinese-‘Americans’ in the United States cause waves of prejudice and stereotypes against this newly arrived labor force under conditions not so different from what was done to the Mexicans and Africans in the United States. Despite this fact however, even Mexican Americans expressed anti-Chinese racism labeling them under the common derogatory slang term, ‘jornaleros chinescos’ (Romo, P. 200). The Chinese often found themselves ‘stuck in the middle of two hostile countries’ during the midst of the ongoing Mexican Revolution, when they themselves, similar to the Anglo-immigrants, were just trying to find their own way to attain the ‘American’ Dream.

The Mexican Revolution itself caused disconnects between the Mexican-American and Mexican nationalists communities, with one side screaming for the side of Mexico and other side screaming against the land of their fathers. This strong internal disconnect with the Mexican community was overlooked by the ruling Anglo-class, however, shows how cultural schizophrenia disease constructed a social divides and opinions going on during the time. The Bath Riots added to the fires of cultural schizophrenia by creating the identity of a dirty Mexican as an excuse for the heinous delousing and cleansing of the Mexican immigrants before they entered into the country. Carmelita Torres and the others who refused to fit this racial perspective were keen on overthrowing this crucial case of cultural schizophrenia.

The phrase a picture says a thousand words, speaks profoundly to me throughout Romo’s novel. It depicted to me that the racial stereotypes and prejudices existing today were cultivated during the ‘founding’ of our great nation. The photo with the caption ‘Anglos and their Mexican prisoners after the Boquillas, Texas raids along the corder, 1916’ on page 196 showed one aspect of how the dirty Mexican image was created. A gang of Anglos, probably Texas Rangers, rounding up three Mexicans, chained at the neck like dogs all hold sombreros. To me this image expresses how the white Anglos justify their vicious treatment towards Mexicans and Mexican American citizens during the early 20th century. Another photograph on page 203 of an African American cowboy presents one blatant oxymoron and clear example of cultural schizophrenia. No matter how you dress, a ‘nigger’ is a ‘nigger,’ you can dress him up like a cowboy, with a hat, handkerchief, boots, but he will be no ‘whiter’ than the dirt on the ground.  

JE #4 El Paso's Cultural Schizophrenia

The Chinese Exclusion Act led to El Paso being an area for Chinese people to travel to the U.S. through Mexico because the act no longer allowed Chinese immigration to the U.S. This had to be done secretly so that adds on to the erasure of Chinese presence in border areas. Chinese history and presence and influence in El Paso is not widely known or researched. Romo also writes of the Mexican Revolution as leading the Chinese to be in an area that was between two powers that did not legitimize their existence such that led to a shrinking of the Chinese population in the border areas by the early 20th century. There was a Chinatown in El Paso that Romo said was mostly gone or taken elsewhere by the 1920s. Romo also documents African American soldiers as being called upon to join the Texas Rangers against Mexican rebellions or against Pancho Villa’s attacks. Large instances of cultural schizophrenia are documented as different groups fighting against others or being on the side of the oppressor to aid in the oppression of others.

I got to the section on the Bath Riots while I was waiting for the bus and with every paragraph was silently yelling more and more. Which I guess is a metaphor for how that event has been passed down through the years. “Carmelita Torres and the ‘ignorant class of Mexicans’ didn’t need a doctorate in sociology to understand that the gasoline baths were more than just baths” (Romo 243). The Bath Riots is such an amazing and empowering piece of mujerstoria that I am really pissed off about not knowing until now. And I’m also pissed that no one has reblogged the post I made about her and this erased history with an excerpt from Romo’s book on my other blog. She took a stand along with the eventual one thousand people who joined her against what she knew was wrong and a humiliation that she did not have to accept as normal and deserving of her. She knew the sterilization was harmful before it was acknowledged as such as well as potent for uses in Nazi Germany. And her story was erased, unable to fuel the desire to revolt for other people in the future. Which is exactly the point of letting this piece of history be forgotten, to uphold the power structures that are in place, both de facto and de jure.

I had to stop and look at the photo on page 206 that reads “If We Must CLEAN UP Why Not Let the GOLD DUST TWINS do the work” for a moment. It appeared in the “El Paso Herald” in 1914. The photo is of two Black children wearing tutus and what looks like a ranger’s hat cleaning Central America which is black and changes to white at the U.S.-Mexico border. The two representations of people of color are “cleaning up” or whitening up Central America and Mexico starting with Panama so that it may match the cleanly whiteness of the U.S. They are called the Gold Dust Twins which connects them to the Gold Rush in California half a century earlier which was a factor leading to Anglos populating the South West. So after some Anglos got wealth off of the land, this advertisement shows the words “gold dust” across the tutus of the Black children maybe representing the capital that Anglos could make/did make off of Black people and after the Anglos got what they could from exploiting people of color they could then use them towards assimilation of people into white Anglo American culture to quell any rebellions.

The two photos on page 217 show El Paso Street in 1882 and then on 1885 with the buildings made out of adobe destroyed to make buildings made out of brick as a result of the construction of railroads and ensuing Anglo arrivals in the area. I was reminded of what we talked about in class of how Anglos created immigration laws to make sure that Mexicans and “foreigners” could not do to them what they had done to Mexicans and the native people of that land. I linked that to the construction of railroads in the 19th century and the construction of public transit today. I can’t remember if we talked about this in class but I thought about how people in affluent communities today use the argument that having public transit run through their area will bring in the “wrong sort of people” if the public transit is linked to poorer communities. And the construction of the railroads in the 19th century definitely did bring in the wrong sort of people. “In 1876, the Anglo population of El Paso was less than 100. By 1884, four new railroad lines connecting the city to the rest of the United States brought a huge influx of whites” (Romo 215). And I feel broken? disgusted? violent? that this influx changed the architecture of El Paso from adobe which as we learned in They Called Them Greasers were seen by whites as really crappy “mud huts” but which was a very resilient mixture for homes and buildings with so many years of history, to bricks.

I guess it is sort of difficult now to be surprised by the new instances of racism and injustice that I learn of in history? I expect them and when I learn of them I add them to my reasons to be angry and to legitimize my anger. But I was most surprised about the Bath Riots I suppose. Maybe not surprised but I was very hopeful that when I searched for information online that I might find photos of the day but could not find any.

Extra Credit- Karen Anzoategui

Karen's performance was amazing.  I have never witnessed anything like that before and it really moved me.  I was not expecting it to be so emotional and deep.  For those who did not attend, I would have to say that they missed out.  Karen entered the room kicking around a soccer ball because the theme of this was of her love of soccer.  I thought it was just going to be her acting out different soccer plays or big moments that have occurred, but in reality it was all about real life issues with her family, culture, identity, sexuality etc.  She used her love for soccer as framework for her piece by referring to negative experiences as fouls and positive events as goals.  She even got the crowd involved by having them "boo" when something bad happened like in a real soccer game and asking them to cheer for the good things as if a goal was scored.  She had a lot of different props that really brought the act to life and she was very descriptive which gave the audience the opportunity to see her life from her perspective.  She really brought art to life by using her acting, her words, her sounds, and so forth.  Although we only got a small 20 minute snippet of her actual show, I felt like I really felt her emotion and understood her message.  I think the show was a great example of someone experiencing cultural schizophrenia.  She live in LA and Argentina and had to adapt to the different cultures.  Her mother wanted her to be a "normal girl" but she was lesbian and had a passion for soccer (which her mother also did not approve of).  The way I interpreted the show was that she was guiding us through her journey of multiple personalities and how she came to be okay with her identity.  There are still so many things that the audience didn't get to see about her life because of the short time, but I plan to go see her full show next month. Overall great performance and great experience for me personally.  I recommend you all to see it if you have time... She will be performing at LATC November 15 – December 8; Thursday-Saturday | 8:00pm and Sundays | 3:00pm

JE #3A

Cultural Schizophrenia is a mixing of cultures, a lack of understanding of our place in a duality, in a Nepantla. I am living in many spaces that contradict my identities. Being in academia, being bilingual, being a U.S Citizen, being bisexual, being oaxaquena in this country; all these aspects serve to create a hybrid of cultures and experiences, it’s my state of duality, my cultural schizophrenia. I am a person of privilege, granted access to many resources due to my documentation status, while my siblings have been told that their documentation status hindered their ability to access any type of education after high school. Culturally schizophrenic because my experience as a citizen of this country doesn’t reflect the fear I hold when “La Tijuanita,” the impoverished neighborhood I reside in, spread rumors that La migra might be roaming the streets of the agricultural lands of our hometown, a place where my parents are expected to work to get food on the table. This is my biggest disconnect, living in fear of my family being taken away, while knowing that if that were to ever happen I would be forced to be in the country without them, one that does not reflect the culture I feel at home.

In addition, I face cultural schizophrenia in regards to the two languages I speak, both flawed and colonized. Knowing English in a Spanish speaking household and knowing Spanish in an English Speaking society, both have impacted my perception of what is right and wrong by the way in which we use our tongues. This idea the inferiority came from the usage of the Spanish tongue and the superiority and power came from the usage of the English tongue, both these ideologies rooted in the inferiority I felt when having to translate for my parents in the market, the superiority I felt when teachers commented on my “good” English, “You speak really well English for a Mexican,” they said. This cultural schizophrenia has led to me to feel a disconnect with my Spanish tongue and especially the native tongue of the lands of Oaxaca, the same one that my parents refused to learn because it was deemed savage upon their migrations to this country.

Lastly, I feel somewhat of culturally schizophrenia due to my place in academia, both a form of resistance but a form of colonization of my culture. Through this academic setting I’ve been able to gain opportunities once I finally get out of this institution, some that my siblings were never encouraged to attain. However, through this education I am also incorporating myself into the western civilization, one that doesn’t necessarily cater to the struggles and progression of our people. I am both combatting and joining this oppressive institution and that is something that I am battling with myself to understand. When I go back home and I argue with my father about his patriarchal being and sexist ideologies, I listen to the privilege come out of my mouth as he stares with amazement with this voice I hold of “superiority” because of this place that has provided me with this knowledge, one that my father was never offered due to his many identities that said education wasn’t for him. I hear the privilege, but can’t help but want to continue being in here due to my need to transform the struggle of my family to give back to them and to change this system that has made it extremely difficult for our communities to move forward.

Cultural Schizophrenia a place where incompatible cultures exist, a place where customary beliefs and antagonists parts of our identities co-exist, a mixing, a middle-ground, a place where Nepantla is home. 

JE#4

There were many events that contributed to the racial division of El Paso, which disconnected Anglos and Mexicans. In “Ringside seat to a Revolution”, Romo shows that multiple sides of people that were living there and how it affected it them. El Paso, being a border town had an interesting story of its own with thousands of Chinese, who were once invited by Portfilio Diaz, Japanese who were excluded once they began to get wealthy, African Americans who were told not to fight segregations, Anglos who began to arrive in masses once railroads connected El Paso, and Mexicans, who were stuck in the middle of El Paso being Mexico and El Paso being in the US. The Chinese Exclusion Act contributed to the identity crises because the racism they received in the US was bad. First many of them had to cut their hair, change their clothes and basically “look like Mexicans” in order to cross the international border freely. But once it was made public that a fence should be placed around the Rio Grande to prevent illegal Chinese Immigration, the Chinese responded by going underground. Their identities then became confusing because they weren’t able to be themselves they had to be in hiding and live their lives as if they were invisible to avoided racism. The Chinese in EL Paso had a roller coaster experience because at times they were highly wanted and at other times they were not wanted and highly pushed away. During the Mexican American War, African Americans were stuck in the middle between fighting with each side. African Americans had a connection with Pancho Villa and many were enlisted as privates in his army. But on the other aside, Anglos put African Americans to fight against Villa’s army which then created a tension between African Americans and Mexicans in El Paso. Also, many blacks were sent to fight in Mexico because it was said that their dark skins made it easier for them to cope with Mexican hot weather than American troops. The American army but the African Americans in a position of fighting against Mexicans who were initially the ones that understood them, which in the end disconnected Mexicans and African Americans along the border. The Bath Riots of the 20^th century, created the biggest gap between the Anglos and the Mexicans. This situation where Mexicans living south of the border had to belittle themselves going through this “cleaning” bath process because they were seen as “dirty” increased the Anglos power dynamic. This contributed to their identity crises because only those Mexicans coming from Juarez everyday, just to work had to go through this process but those living in El Paso didn’t even though they were all Mexican.

The photos in this section were very powerful because they show images of what really happened and aren’t sugarcoated like the ones in grade school history books. The picture I found most interested is the one on page 196, where the Anglos soldiers are posing with their guns on their Mexican prisoners. 2 prisoners are looking down and seem to be fearful and shameful because they have guns resting on their heads. All three have their Mexican sombreros in their hands and aren’t armed. The Anglos men are mostly looking at the camera with their guns ether to the heads or shoulders of their Mexican prisoners. I think this picture shows the how has the power. There are 9 Anglos in the picture surrounded 3 Mexicans so it can also be seen as “there are more of us [Anglos] then of them and this is why we are in charge”. The second alarming picture was the disinfecting bath blueprint on page 222. This reminded me a lot of the holocaust even before I read the actual text of the chapter. It made me angry and even a little sick to even see that there was gas rooms and disinfecting rooms. I can’t believe that what I though only happened in Germany and Jewish racism was first a product of Anglo- Mexican racism. It is shocking to think that this treatment of Mexicans happened just because Anglos needed ways to show their power and that they were supreme to other non-white races.

I was extremely shocked by this section because I had no idea that there were other people living the border struggle of racism by Anglos other than Mexicans.  Also, the fact that President Wilson would order for a special census in 1916 to see who exactly was in the land seems as a government tactic to represent population power in the number of occupants. However, this information is definitely skewed because throughout the section it talks about how Chinese went underground and I’m sure many of them along with Native Americans went uncounted for.  Also, how many of these people actually had homes or weren’t consistent travelers back and forth from Jaurez. Also, I wonder what defined a white refugee in this census and what people were counted in this section.

Extra Credit - Catholic School Daze

I was thrilled to find out that Karen Anzoatequi was performing at UCLA one of her most well-known plays, “Catholic School Daze.” I didn’t go to Catholic School but I can definitely relate to the plot of the story. Her play focuses on Karen’s experience within a Catholic school, while simultaneously discovering her love and desire for womyn. Through this very creative and entertaining play, Karen brings in a wide-variety of issues into one play, gender roles, queerness and religion, all intersections that affected her life. As someone who was raised in catholic household, I understand the pressure to be straight. However, I have recently accepted the love and desire I hold for womyn. Through the plot, Karen copes with her sexuality though the use of self-harm, a pain and trauma that many queer people experience due to the pressures of society to be heteronormative. This was a triggering scene for me, because although I have never cut myself due to my queerness, I have undergone other forms of self-harm. Through her play, I was able to see how powerful survival for queer people is. The ending to her play was extremely powerful, in which she tied in her religion to her queerness and “broke bread and shared wine,” with the audience. “Breaking bread and sharing wine represents the body and blood of Jesus Christ, which was a metaphor for the acceptance of queer folks within a religion that often rejects us.

Overall, this performance was extremely powerful. She was able to undergo the borders of her religion intersected with the borders of her sexuality. The most beautiful thing about it was that it showed how powerful the survival of queer people of color truly is. 

JE#4: El Paso, 文化, esquizofrenia, and exactly 5.0 Indians

El Paso undergoes a cultural schizophrenia because of a contemporary denial of its history. Many students mentioned (including El Paso natives) that they have never heard of Carmelita Torres. What she did is so freaking revolutionary! And, oh my God(dess!), no one has even heard of her!! When we read about Texas history, all we can seem to remember is 'remember the Alamo'  (er sumthin like dat), but never do we hear about the Chinese citizens that lived there. Nor does our Americanized history recognize anything other than a negative connotations of Mexicans there. But there is so much to uncover.

The Chinese Exclusion Act forbade any more immigration from China into the United States for a cool minute (a reaaaaally loooooooong minute). And it perpetuated the extreme racism that Chinese experienced in El Paso. 

I mean, we don't want anymore chinamen coming in, why are we going to treat these ones right? Ummm, that sounds mean, let's not include that in American History... Oh and weren't there Mexicans in El Paso (pronounced Ewwll Pah!-sow) too or something?? Didn't we make them go through some disinfection plants or something? Yeah, but that sounds real Nazi-ish, let's not remember that through our History Books. ('REMEMBER THE ALAMO REMEMBER THE ALAMO REMEMBER THE ALAMOOOOO' whispers a ghost somewhere in the back of the American Unconscious). (Somewhere in this lost historical world there are cemetaries of burnt corpses. Accidents happen, move on). OK OK OK, so now let's look at what we got for El Paso history... ... ... hmmmmm, white people came in because it is our Manifest Destiny. :') This brings a tear to my eye :') :') :') :')

:')



:'D

But, El Paso cannot see its real history with these tears getting in the way! Who's Carmelita Torres? What Chinese? What Mexicans? What Blacks? We counted, I swear to God, and there's only like, 5 Indians there!

The 2 images that struck out to me the most were p. 205's Dr. H. A. Magruder's "I Don't Work For Negroes" advertisement. Nobody ever speaks about the doctors who happily refused to work for blacks. At least they were honest about it back then, unlike nowadays. (Did y'all hear about today's Affirmative Action Bake Sale?? If it wasn't for the cultural schizophrenia of White America, this sign would of made a fine decoration for this campus' entrance!) I also enjoyed p. 210-211's image of the boy on the burro that was given a hat to wear by the photographer to make the image authentic for Whitey. Someone might look at this image nowadays and think it's a pretty image of El Paso's inclusion of Mexicans after the Treaty. Ohhhhh the cultural schizophrenia! How it erases important aspects of our POC history. How easily we have forgotten all this. How sad. How humiliating. I wish more people can remember this. But, because of the horrid whitewashing of our collective history, it's probably not going to happen anytime soon. But if we're not going to remember the Chinese Exclusion Act, or the other modes of rampant racism, or just about anything that is not nice and white

at least卐 remember the Zyklon B 卐