J.E. #2

Learning this history from the perspective of the conquistador provides for a very specific representation of history, one where the conquered are incapable, inept, savage, primitive, what have you. It makes for a retelling of history in which the conquered needed to be saved, one in which WASP peoples are the heroes and rightful owners of the land they took and the history they have rewritten. To be completely honest, I don't remember learning much about the Battle of the Alamo in school. Maybe it had to do with my lousy LAUSD public education or maybe it was because I grew up in California-- we focused a lot on learning about the missions and stuff. I talked to some of my peers regarding their schooling on this subject to see if their experiences were like mine and many of theirs were. They learned about the battle, but not in depth. Basically, we were taught that the battle resulted in a type of massacre caused by the Mexicans. De Leon's book begs to differ, as is the case with many books and articles written by people who choose to talk about what REALLY happened. What I learned (or better said, what i DIDN'T learn) about the Alamo made me feel somewhat ashamed to be Mexican. I though, "wow, my people did that?" and I could feel myself sinking in my seat. I could feel my brown cheeks growing hotter and getting red, especially when I could feel the gaze of my non-Mexican peers directed towards me. It was awkward and embarrassing because although I wanted to defend us from what the history books said, I did not know whether or not what I was being taught was true.

The education system and its curriculum is not the only thing implementing this sense of historical amnesia. There is the media, music, policy, literature, etc. etc. doing the exact same thing in more overt ways. Policy like SB 1070 or Prop 209 do the same thing. When laws like these are introduced by the government and enforced by the police, it forces people to believe whatever it is these laws try to perpetuate and there is no room for the people targeted to defend themselves from these discriminatory injustices because what these pieces of policy state are beliefs that have been ingrained into society from a very young age (schooling, etc.).

As of now, October 16, 2013, I feel my level of historical amnesia has improved from being at a level of like, 8, to being at maybe a 5 or a 6. Before being where I am at now, I lacked the sense of empowerment the Chican@ Studies classes I've taken have given me and the amount of pride in my heritage and my roots has greatly increased. But at the same time, I still feel like a targeted individual because I know that the curriculum implemented at most, if not all, schools in the U.S. continue to perpetuate thoughts about my people as less than what we really are. I still feel misrepresented in this land i have called my home for so long. Although I know we as a people are at a sort of disadvantage due to how much we know about our cultural history in its entirety as well as how its portrayed throughout all forms of communication and fountains of information, I have hope that we will one day be able to write our own history, as it really was and circulate it and have it recognized as the truth.