JE #2

“El Pueblo que pierde su memoria, pierde su destino.” No truer words have been spoken of the historical state of Chicano consciousness.  In having our children (myself included) raised in the land of the conqueror, hearing their account of history, we begin to lose sight of our own truths and start to see the present through their eyes.  And we, unfortunately, begin to see our futures through their eyes, too. 

In the United States school system, I learned that “Remember the Alamo,” was a call-back to the turning point of the Texan Revolution.  This course and the De Leone book shed light on the fact that the cry to is not only meant to glorify the men who died after being holed up in the Alamo for 13 days, it was meant to highlight the villainy of the Mexican army so that American Texans would pick up their arms and follow the call of revenge to the battlefield where they would soon end the war in their favor. 

My public school education taught me little about what to think of Mexicans and Anglos through the lens of the Alamo because I don’t remember the feelings it gave me.  I do remember hearing from my sister (a UCLA Chican@ Studies major at the time of my elementary school days) about the word Chicano and what it meant.  I remember fixating not on the fact that a massacre had occurred at the Alamo, or that Texas had to be declaring independence from someone, but the fact that the United States was taking Mexico’s land and how foreign and interesting a historical detail that was to my young mind.

The most angering reference to the culture of historical amnesia that is [and has always been] prevalent in American society is the “Go back to where you came from,” attitude.  My parents always taught me that this is “where I come from.”  Mexico may be a few miles south, but that doesn’t mean anything at all; besides, I was born and raised here with parents and principles from there.  I decided that, if the rest of me can be both Mexican and American – the way I look, the way I am treated, the things I believe in – then my heart could also belong to two countries.  As such, and considering that I was exposed to Chicano history and thought at an early age, my historical amnesia is approximately a 5. 

I know the history and culture, but my family has culturally assimilated in ways that I never noticed until grew older. I feel that my sense of destiny has been altered in that I used to see my future through individualistic and American eyes.  Though I am aware, I sometimes abandon the role I play as a member of the Latino community.  Taking Chicano Studies classes and joining students on other fronts has opened my eyes to the unequaled importance of community to one’s future.  Had I not placed importance in learning about my family’s and country’s past/present, I would not have the same drive and confidence in my self and my future as a part in a larger puzzle.  Nor would I have had any idea what kind of impact I wanted to leave behind; I would have continued to look at my destiny through the eyes of the conqueror, as an isolated and alone case.