J.E. #9

1. This is a really difficult question to answer because I feel the topic of "historical borderlands" is so dense. However, in regards to what I think I learned best, it would have to be the systemic oppressions created by the failure of the U.S. to adhere to the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. I cannot say I know every part of the Treaty as well as I should, but I can now make better sense of the oppression I see and feel is committed by the government and those who belong to the dominant narrative to disenfranchise my community on a daily basis. 

I didn't know the Treaty was so specific before I took this course. I did know of its existence, but I didn't the extent to which it was neglected. This is the most important piece of information regarding the U.S.-Mexico border in a historical context, I feel, that I have learned in this course. This is not to say that everything else was irrelevent, but I feel that this piece of history sets the stage for the consequences my community continues to face in a contemporary context on this American soil.

2. I feel the theory I understand the most is the first-- acknowledging your borders. As much as I want to think I am a conscious Xicana, I continue to struggle with my own border on a daily basis-- not just borders that I know I have, but the ones I discover everyday. While I definitely try to continue on my journey to hopefully gaining the Mestiza Consciousness Anzaldúa writes about, I constantly feel knocked back to step one because of all the borders I continue to discover within myself, my family, and my community.

3. I feel like there is always more to learn about each theory, but personally, I feel like I am struggling the most with the theory focused on taming the wild tongue. I feel the most struggle with this one because I always seem to end up questioning myself not just on my own understanding of this theory, but on my embodiment of it as well. Do I need to tame my wild tongue? Do I even have a wild tongue? Does my tongue qualify as a wild one? If so, how? If not, why?

5. This is a hard question to answer. I feel like I am constantly fluctuating between different stages of 'border consciousness' and 'mestiza consciousness.' I don't feel like I am at all close to reaching the end of the journey, but I do feel like the one stage I am always comfortable in is where I get to tell my story. I feel the most comfortable here because I grew up having to express myself. I grew up dancing and the way I have always seen it, this has made me feel comfortable with the vulnerability that comes with bearing yourself to others via telling your story. 

The films and readings definitely help me in further analyzing my own borders, both the acknowledged and unperceived. I don't know, numerically, where I am on a scale of being 'border consciousness', but I do feel myself growing on a minute to minute basis because of all the things that are coming to my attention via lecture, the films, and the readings.