JE#7

As the granddaughter of a Mexican grandmother, and the daughter of a catholic school graduate it is needless to say that I was raised fairly catholic. Catholicism is very interesting because it is so hypocritical. I really hate how there are so many things as a catholic you can do wrong but if you simply profess your guilt to a complete stranger in complete anonymity to repent your sins, you will be saved and you will go to heaven  where the angels sing and the world is beautiful. I really just do not get it! I do not agree with the concept of confession, with the various actions that are considered sins (such as queer acts of love), and how the sin system does not have levels of gravity. Furthermore, I also disagree how patriarchal and sexist the bible is when it comes to the various women . I feel that Catholicism is very heteropatriarchal, sexist, homophobic, and even racist. It has been used as a tool of conquest, a tool of oppression. However, one good aspect that did come out of Catholicism, as I was raised, is La Virgen de Guadalupe. While La Virgen de Guadalupe is a very passive good mother of her children, Catholics, I feel that as a Chicana lesbian feminist I have reclaimed her image as a mother that is all accepting. Regardless of my lesbian identity, my tattoos, my piercings, and "sins" she still accepts me and will always take care of me. I find this act of defying the church by reclaiming her in my own personal interest is very empowering.

I understand that Catholicism is and has been used as one of the major tools of colonization and oppression for the colonized. This really angers me because the fact that Mexico is one of the largest and most devout Catholic countries, shows how effective the conquest was. It angers me because women, the producers of culture, continue to perpetuate patriarchy, female passivity, and homophobia. It angers me that men continue to violate and oppress their mothers, daughters, and partners all because the Catholicism has created the good and bad women dichotomy that devotees find the need to uphold.

The only way that I think would be possible to decolonize our minds from religious colonization is to understand the way its been used against the oppressed and to reclaim and reject Catholicism. However, I feel that may be difficult because Catholicism is not only a religion it is a cultural aspect now. Therefore, would completely rejecting it be the best idea. I feel that religion serves its purpose to give people hope and something to cope with the struggles of their every day life. However, it also creates a a good and bad dichotomy for people that is very harmful for the general community. I guess I do not really know how to cross this religious border that affects me so much, and so many of my brown siblings.

I do not call myself a Catholic. I say I was raised catholic but I do not practice it. It has been rather hard to be a Queer feminist and still reclaim La Virgen de Guadalupe to help make sense of my relationship with my family and my sexuality. I don't really know how to consolidate both of these aspects into my life. Is it even possible?