Journal Entry #9

1.) Prior to this course, I had only previously received the history that was presented to me through the K-12 education, that being, white supremacist, euro-centric, one-sided perspective on the history of “the United States.” Through the last quarter, I have expanded my knowledge on the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo and what really happened during the U.S/Mexico War.  In high school and middle school, we were told the way in which the United States military was defending the safety of this country during through reoccurring concept, “Remember the Alamo!” which implied that the Mexico military was on the instigating side of the war, when in reality it was The U.S’ way to invade Mexico and thus acquire their land. In addition, being able to read the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo article through article gave me an idea of what the document really states and the way in which the words were able to create loopholes for the American government to continually use the laws against folks in Mexico at the time. This then foreshadowed U.S/Mexico relations for years to come, through the stripping of land from Mexican property owners (seen through the U.S of Speedy Gonzales), as well as denying them legalization upon acquiring the lands that now constitute the United States, as well as creating borders and militarization them to criminalize Mexicans etc.

2.) Out of all of Gloria’s Anzaldua’s theories, I feel I understand the shadow beast the best. While recognizing both faces of the shadow beast, the monster and the rebel we are able to embark on the journey towards mestiza consciousness. Firstly, the monster is when we succumb to the oppression we face by internalizing how we feel due to our identities due to the fear we hold when we realize our identities are. The monster allow us to be aware of our identities, however it impedes us from accepting it due to the fear that society imposes within us. However, the rebel side to the shadow beast is the reclaiming of our identities and our power. The rebel is the transformative aspect of the shadow beast which allows us to rebel against societal expectations of our identities, specifically allowing us to combat the internalized oppression that we may hold within. The rebel is essential in allowing Mestiza Consciousness to take place because it is one of the steps that ignites mentality change within the way we see ourselves in an oppressive society.

3.) I am having difficulty understanding entering the serpent. I understand the way in which the Shadow beast plays out; however, I haven’t fully grasped the idea of how entering the serpent and the shadow beast coincide within reaching Mestiza Consciousness.

5.) I rate my border consciousness at a 9. I have had to deal with multiple borders throughout my life and have used the course as an avenue of understanding them all and allowing them to create a third space that is accepting of all that I embody – regardless of the complexities. I am familiar with Mestiza Consciousness, but struggle in moving past the Coatlicue State. I feel like I have already confronted and rebelled with the shadow beast. An example is through the borders of my sexuality, being bisexual has been a complicated border to understand and cross, however in loving another womyn I have rebelled against the internalized homophobia that has, for so many years, stopped me from ever vocalizing my interested in another mujer. Through that I have embarked in the coatlicue state by enduring the state of being in a relationship with an hombre that served to hurt me because it was not what I truly wanted. The films and readings have contributed to my border consciousness because it have given an illustrated narrative of the way in which border consciousness occurs. Through reading about the characters in the novels and watching the films, we are able to see border consciousness unfold fully through our own lenses rather than just using our own experience, it allows the use of the red ink and black ink to occur more smoothly through first using the stories of others before our own.