JE #10: A Border Summit or Talk Show

1. Ivon

2. Shelly

3. Juanita

4. Irene

5. Diego

6. Felix

7. Lola

8. Pilar Martinez

9. Maya Zapata

10. Gregorio Cortez

Ivon:  Diego, as someone who is both queer and Cuban, how do you deal with the conflict you incur between these two borders?  I know we’ve spoken somewhat about the parallels between my culture and yours, but how do you tolerate these ambiguities and contradictions? 

Diego:  The intersection of being both queer and Cuban is not an easy road to navigate.  As I’ve told you before, though I don’t usually share this with many people is that I was forced to leave Cuban because of my articulation of this cultural homophobic bullshit that I knew would continue with the communist Revolution.  But I criticized my culture because I love my culture.  It’s homophobia is one of its uglier traits, but the country, its people, its literature, my identity is defined as Cubano and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  It rejects me when I try to accept it.  Because of my dislocation from the country, it has taken me a few political steps back in terms of my activism, but I am still as outspoken I was before my exile.  I guess I would say that I navigate the contradiction of being queer and Cuban through political articulation of my rejection of this grating between these identities.  In accepting and celebrating the cultural and sexual within myself, I hope to one day see that reflected in my culture.  Juanita, do you know in your family that may have been queer and how they managed these antagonisms?

Juanita: Actually Diego, I haven’t spoken about this to anyone else the family, but seeing as you and Ivon seem to be so open and at ease with your sexuality now seems like the perfect time to speak about it.  I had a brother in law named Felix who died a few years ago.  He was killed by a young American soldier in a remote canyon.  It was somewhat of a flimsy secret that he was a homosexual.  Obviously, having a mother like he did, someone who would have found something like that repulsive I think he died ashamed and alone.  I think if I were to speak in terms of contradictions, I think he tried to sexually satisfy himself as man struggling to kept his straight face intact.  He had a wife and children but I don’t think that’s what made him happy.  Even though what happened to him devastated us all, I think he died trying to do the things which brought him the most happiest within the closet.  I think he used secrecy to navigate within a family and a place where he would choke on the homophobia.

Diego: Ivon, being a lesbian how would you say that you have navigated your own borders?  In what ways has your sexuality and your culture clashed?

Ivon:  Yes, in many ways.  I have a strained relationship with my mother because of me willing to be openly lesbian, and masculinity at that.  I mean, I’m now living on my own with a beautiful little boy I adopted with my partner, but it’s still difficult you know?  I remember when I told my mother that I wanted to adopt a child with my partner, she called me all sorts of names like sin vergüenza and a bunch of other Spanish homophobic slurs, but I thought it was important for me to say something.  I guess when you think about it, it’s sort of like what you do Diego.  I try with my mother because deep down I love her.  Yes these conversations are difficult but I want to have them because I want this woman to be in my life and I want her to one day accept me as I am.  I navigate my these cultural clashes by not being afraid to speak to homophobia in the flesh and tell her that I am a lesbian and that I am a mother.