JE#9

How Border Conscious am I?

1.Before this class I did not have a very good historical foundation for the border as well as how border history has actually influenced more than undocumented folks. What I took from this historical borderlands section is the foundation to a lof of the racial problems that affect Mexican Americans in the U.S. What I learned best is how the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo was a foundation for the geographical border as well as for the discrimination and mistreatment of Mexican border natives.

2. Anzaldua's Nepantla theory is one of her most important contributions to my life. Nepantla is existing within the grey area of two worlds, two identities, is existing within the "othered" space. Nepantla applies to my life in so many ways. I navigate a variety of contradictory space such as being a good Mexican daughter, and a radical Queer woman. I exist in between I can be neither because they contradict each other. I am a brown american so I exist within Nepantla because I am neither fully American but I am neither fully Mexican. I do not belong anywhere. However, because I a do not belong anywhere I feel that Nepantla has allowed for the Rebel face of the Shadow Beast to emerge and begin fighting my way through Nepantla and my colonization.

3. One of Anzaldua's hardest concept for me to grasp is the actually the way her Mestiza Consciousness is a step building off each other. I get how the individual steps work towards reaching Mestiza Consciousness however, the 7 steps just seem out of order for some reason. I understand the becoming aware of your borders as a first step. Then the 2nd is facing your Shadow Beast. I feel that the fact that it has two faces is confusing because the step after is entering the serpent, but if you have the rebel face of the shadow beast why would you get rid of it to move on to a next step? Do you not need the rebel to propell you forward through the Serpent stage? Then the 3rd step is Entering the Serpent. If the whole point of this step is to shed the skin isnt shedding the skin the ultimately way to leg go of an -ism? But no then, after you crash let go of it you go into Coatlicue. Which is the worst of all stages. But if you were doing fairly OK with the rebel face and shedding the skin why does we have to go into the this area that is Coatlicue? Then when you crawl out you have to deal with more stuff, that I feel we could have dealt with during the Shadow Beast and Serpent stage. So I feel that mostly the order of the process doesnt make sense to me, but if I place them and use them in a way that I think fits for me I think it makes more sense. But the weird part is that regardless it all makes sense.

5. I would rate my level of Border Consciousness middle to high. I feel that you can be in a variety of levels of Border Consciousness, depending on the border you are trying to cross. I feel that on certain borders I am facing or have faced the Shadow Beast. I feel that I have mostly been sitting in the Coatlicue State but the last two weeks I feel I am coming out of it. I feel that I am Entering the Serpent as a way to get out Coatlicue by embracing the feminine divine. I feel that the novels have been my biggest contributors into guiding me through Border Consciousness. I feel that they forced me to deal with borders I hadnt realized I had, they made me face Shadow Beasts I had been avoiding, and they made me feel emotions I had suppressed for so long. This truly has been an exhausting journey.