J.E #9

I actually learned a lot from this class.  I didn’t know what the treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo actually stated.  I just knew it was peace treaty that ended the U.S- Mexican War.  I learned about all the unjust that are contained in the treaty.  I learned about different laws and how they targeted women and sexuality.  How the U.S laws were based on these things from the start.  Keeping out the undesirables!!  I learned how the U.S never gave Mexican a shot or anyone of dark skin color.  To them they associated it with filth and unworthy.  How the Border Patrol do more harm then good.  How they rape girls to show their superiority of a dominant race.  How many lives are lost on the border and many of them are never identified.  How all these women in Juarez were killed and nobody really cared.  I actually did a Wikipedia search on the women who dies in Juarez and it said only 375 women were murder.  When we know thousands were murder.  There was so much I didn’t know about that was happening to my own people.  

I think the theories I really understand is the first step toward mestiza consciousness.  When you realize about the borders around you.  When one wakes up from historical amnesia is a vital step because that is when everything starts to unravel.  For me that was when I felt I started to wake up and realized what is going on with me, and what I am feeling.  It started to shape me and think differently. 

The theory I feel I have the most trouble with is entering the serpent. I’m not sure if I understand it correctly. Is entering the serpent when you realize your border? Or is it every thing that has made you realize your borders and that is why you change? Or is it both? 

 I honestly feel like I am in the state of Coatlicue.  The reason I say that is because over the thanks-giving break I just didn’t want to come out of bed.  I felt over whelmed tried frustrated.  I told my boyfriend I'm done I’m ready to give up. I just don’t know how to move on I wake up I smile and yet inside I feel lost I'm crying inside and I don’t know how to move on.