JE #9

1.I feel that I learned the most about how the US has always been self centered and selfish in the way history has been told from a one sided point of view. I now realize that everything the US has done, has been for its own benefit. The way history does not include the learning of the treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo and how articles were removed. It does not include immigrant laws that have excluded people such as the page law or the disinfecting chambers used along the border. I’ve now realized that the US forms everything in a way to make them look like the hero, like the main deal. Even maps in history books always put the US in the middle and make it bigger than most countries. Before this course I had no idea about the exclusion laws, which were made to keep certain people out of the US. Before this class I just knew about the bracero program, which is something more recent, and about the Chinese Exclusion Act. Now I realize that laws have always been purposely made to exclude people based on race, gender and/or sexual orientations. 

Also these laws are not something recent but rather have always been there to keep undesired immigrants out and all those who pose as a threat to American white culture.

2. I feel that I have a good understanding of Gloria Anzaldua’s theory of the 3^rd stage of mestiza consciousness, the serpent. The shedding of skins, I see as letting go of old things and changing oneself after coming to realizations and gaining consciousness. It is like changing attitudes and beliefs in ways that show personal growth and coming to terms with making decisions on your own. I feel that the serpent stage applies to my life every time I find myself in a different environment. Every time I learn something new about as aspect of my identity I start to get critical and wonder different things. I then try to stop my previous ways of doing things and try to connect and find a personal reason for doing things. An example is in language. Becoming conscious of words, slang and society’s norms has made me change the way I say things. The concept of using inclusive language has been a big thing for me. I have begun to shed my old ways of not caring to a more new me of being conscious of what I say.

3.I am still having difficulties understanding Anzalduas theory of La facultad and stage 5, linguistic terrorism and all the other isms. I understand that this stage is a way to see oppressions, to have intuition and knowledge but I just don’t understand how that plays into a role with the other stages. Isn’t this similar to being able to recognize borders and recognizing oppressions? Also the stage with all the ‘isms’, is it just about recognizing the problem? In the chapter she talks about not feeling ashamed but rather proud about who we are. She recognizes that us Chicana/os have created our own identity from a dual identity of Mexicanos and Americanos. Is this stage just a more in depth concentration about our borders and reclaiming them with our identity?

5. I am not sure where I would rate my own border consciousness just because I feel that depending on situations, I sometimes roam around many stages. Overall, in a vague sense, I would rate myself at the shadow beast stage just because after learning I always find myself questioning many things. It is like two people are inside me when discussing things such as religion. One side of me does not want to come into terms with current knowledge of patriarchy in religion or how the Spaniards initially brought religion to overpower the Mexicans and indigenous. This side of me wants to keep believing in Catholicism because I feel I have a NEED to believe in something and this is what I was taught to believe. But the other side of me continues to say that religion was made to control people. That its patriarchal and sets up these gender roles that I am against.  The side of me that’s rebellion against religion empowers me because I am learning everyday through readings and historical context. But the other side of me wants to be accepted by my mother, who gets upset whenever I speak bad about religion. I want to be accepted by my religion because when I am in need, that is where I turn. I am in the shadow beast stage because I am questioning everything and I’m stuck between two identities of me that are opposites. The readings and films and discussion in this class have greatly contributed to my experience. I did not know that the feelings I’ve had, about being a Chicana from a Mexican culture living in America where I am constantly told to assimilate, have also been felt by others. All the novels we have read have brought comfort to me and helped in discovering my own history. The stories and knowledge of exclusion laws and procedures have contributed to the way I see Chicana/o people in the US.