JE #9 BarbaAlexandra

1. What aspect of the historical borderlands section of the course do you feel you've learned best? What do you really know now about the history of the U.S.-Mexico border that you did not know before you took the course?

In terms of the historical borderlands, I think I learned about the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo the best. Now I understand that the “Mexican American War” should really be called the U.S-Mexico War because it was a war that was perfectly orchestrated and purposely instigated by the U.S. Now I understand how each of the articles played a different role in dispossessing the Mexicans. I can now also name the articles that in my opinion impacted the history of U.S.-Mexico relations the most. Before I took the course I did not know just how highly the U.S. thought of itself. The U.S. thought itself to be above the rules because it denied that the war was caused purposely and also very blatantly violated the treaty. The U.S. only drew up a treaty to save face and this treaty is the epitome of U.S.-Mexico relations today.

2. Which one(s) of Gloria Anzaldúa's theories about the borderlands do you feel you really understand? How does this theory (or these theories) apply to your own life?

I really understand the first theory, which is Border(s) Awareness. Although I had not really called the contradictions in my life “borders”, I feel like I definitely sensed these borders. I think we all have borders, some more than others, and so I do not think it is difficult to become aware of these borders once you begin to verbalize them. These borders cause the individual to feel a dissonance in his/her life and at one point or another will have to define these borders on his/her own—we cannot ignore them forever. I have an ethnic and religious border that I have to cross and I think that right now I am in the Coatlicue state, the very beginnings of this state, I feel. I became more deeply aware of my borders because of this class.

3. Which theory or theories of Anzaldúa's are you still having difficulty understanding? Please discuss the difficulties you're having?

The theory I am having the most difficulty understanding is probably the Coatlicue state, well not so much the state itself, but how you go from that state to sharing your story. I know that in between in Linguistic terrorism and all the other ISM’s, but once you face those you share your story. I am still curious about how long you have to stay in this state, are you ever completely out? Do people still straddle complete border consciousness and chosen border ignorance? By ignorance I mainly mean ‘ignore’.  I would also like to know more about the divine, do we get to choose what the divine is? What if some people do not believe in the divine, what then? These are questions that I have concerning the connection between being in such a painful state and being able to share your story. Although I think that sharing your story also helps a person heal and that is why it is part of the process.

I recognize that the process is painful and there will always be places where these contradictions are very apparent, so I wonder if there are people who accept and tolerate their ambiguities, but still feel oppressed in certain social places.

5. How would you rate your own level of border consciousness at this point in the course? Are you, for example, just coming face to face with your monstrous Shadow Beast? Are you "entering into the Serpent," or do you feel like you're falling into the "Coatlicue State"? How are the films and readings contributing to this experience?

In all honesty, I think I have just recently entered the serpent. I feel like this class has been the snake that has bitten me. One of the biggest things I have opened my eyes to is my own self-oppression. I never really thought about the ways in which I was oppressing myself, but this class has really made me face the fact that I do—while it is hard to accept. Connecting with the different characters from both the films and the novels for this class has enhanced my border consciousness in different levels and angles. The experiences of these characters are all different, but are also very similar in the fact that they are all in the process of Mestiza Consciousness but are obviously at different stages of the process. I want to learn from these characters and not continue to hold myself prisoner to self oppression and internalized racism, two things that I think affect my life and my decisions the most. At this point in the course I would rate my level of border consciousness at an 8 (if it were from a scale of 1-10) because I have learned a lot about the different borders people must cross, beyond that of the geographical border and I can also recognize attributes of the colonized mind. However, I think I still have some work to do in crossing my own borders an coming to terms with them.