JE #7

(A random picture of me and my brother at Placita Olvera)

My mom and my grandma were both catholics and I do have small memories of wearing dresses to church and being very very bored but trying to make my mom happy by pretending to pray with her and standing up and sitting down and standing up and sitting down when the guy talking said too. Things changed completely when my moms left the father of my two youngest siblings. She became very busy working jobs, my grandma for a iong time had two jobs to support my cousin, whom she adopted when my aunt passed away. Both of them worked really hard to make sure that me and my siblings didn't go hungry. Naturally I became a "callejera" I went out all the time and sometimes didn't come home. This made me and my moms relationship difficult. Me and my brother love pushing peoples buttons so sometimes we would tell my mom she was funny for believing in god. (ugh why was i so mean?) 

I never made fun of my grannie though, she's one of those tough grandmas who would literally kick my ass if I ever said anything rude to her. I completely closed myself off to the ideas of religion I found it humorous and a waste of time. I felt restricted I couldn't do anything. I didn't like that my mom used religion against me. She had a different background then me of course and went to a religious school. She said that if I had been raised the way she was I would never go out or wear a lot of the clothing I wear or that I need more manners or that I would never go out and would have stayed in the house all day. 

Eventually things changed and she accepted me more but I still feel like my moms religious background affects her parenting on me and my siblings. For one, we never talk about sex/ sexuality. She likes to assume instead of asking. I guess she likes to think that I will wait until marriage to have sex and I will get married in a church. Sometimes I try to mention things to her to start conversations but I'm never good at it and instead say things like "at my age you had two kids already" and she gets mad at me. My mom being religious puts up a lot of borders I wish I was able to tell my mom a lot of things but I can't because it isn't "proper." I know that my mom is overcoming a lot of her own borders, she's completely changed after she left her last relationship, she parties, goes to concerts and dates a lot. I hope that one day me and her can talk about things without it being something taboo.